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welness journey

What do you see? Had I lost weight? Or worn out? I always loved the way I am Yet the unwavering struggle between self-esteem, Eating habits and my weight gain! What instigated this ambivalence? The idea of so called "Beauty Standards" The pressure that the society laid me with this very idea Was not so direct.  It started from the very comfort place - Home Denial of certain dresses  Pointing out that am fat People used to point out  At the quantity I eat is the reason why I am fat Some even persuaded me with the appeal of fear That I'd be even more obese when I become a mother  Since I am from that kind of genetics. I don't say am not open to criticism Yet few people are even unaware  That they are body shaming And being body shamed.  The stress it lays  Pulls them to predicament I've lost nearly __kg. Unlike influencers or others, I won't say it all happened in a blink of an eye. My body took its own time. In fact, the process had many phases. In each...

healing

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We've been longing for a closure Knowing it would change nothing for sure. Still we longed to get one From all the events and people  Who made us wail and weep  At times left us with no tears. We know we'll never get one. It's because they never knew  The depth of the wounds Their actions have caused  They made us believe that Happiness is the scariest thing to be And once we are We've so much to loose! They seem to be an angel now Genuinely they do put efforts, But eyes sees them as devil in disguise! Whenever a neck piece is worn Neck remembers the ligatures and nooses! Tears would be at the ridge of falling  But would pass a moment  Because they are part of our life And we are supposed to live  With them and the devastations they've caused  Even without their closures We are healing our wounds Me and my inner child By just forgiving ourselves For being too hard on each other  And trying to forgive them too But we are not forgetting any! ...
My zealousy started fading the day, I turned 21 Life is getting ponderous, all of a sudden. I was a girl,      who sought validation from outside I was a girl,     who was taught to love pleasing others. I was a girl,     who never knew regrets, neither had secrets. I was a girl,     who was loose-tongued I was a girl,     who was so gregarious by nature  Did it change now? Nothing changed. I evolved by the time. I learned to establish boundaries, I learned to have secrets, I learned to be assertive, I learned that its okay to have regrets

Adulting

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At this stage of my life,  Looking back didn't sound bad!  I was there! Both happy and sad; Got butterflies and stomach burns; Guess, I was too stingy! I was there! Both clear and confused; Got wisdom and doubts; Guess, I was in turbulence! I was there! Both relished and abominated; Got elated and dejected; Guess, I was uncertain! I am still here! Both organized and muddled Feeling loved and annoyed; Probably I endorse destiny!                         With love ,                                                                                                                                  ...

#ONLYFORU

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Two chubby fellows got a bit close together,  The pandemic lockdown gave us feather!  We were no strangers though; But never seen each other beyond the pleather before.  We used to go for walking at the dawn,  And speak of everything that happened the previous evening in the lawn.  We started to feel comfortable to share Every inches of our life though it wasn't much fair.  The miles we covered while cycling is unaccounted; Realised, Afore we are born our bond is bounded!  After that mild walk at the dusk , holding our hands immense,  The house next street felt like long distance.  She was a safer place Stood by me when my life was disgrace!  Zero judgements, zero fear,  That's not something everyone can offer!  It feels overwhelming, to know our place in someone's space,  What if a person can tell your heart's pace!  In my every decision, there'll be her notion Love you is just a word, but Onlyforu is an emotion! All...

A LISTENER NEEDS A LISTENER TOO

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She patiently listened and heard everyone's tales Feeling both happy and sad according to it's emotional waves.  No one bothered to ask her, "Are you alright? " Coz they had no idea about all her emotional fights!  She just casts a smile in her lips Coz she know she'll gain nothing but gossips At times, she felt it more easy to live with her pain,  As everyone heard her emotions in disdain!  Still, Her shoulders are always open for you,  But remember, "A LISTENER NEEDS A LISTENER TOO"!!                                              With love,                                          Ms. Affable❤

HIM💕

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I welcomed him, when I was two!  With much eager and anticipation, I got A new lively toy to play with He who pronounced my name first!  He who followed everything I did!  We grew up exploring everything together!  We grew up sharing toys,  Sharing food and sharing jokes,  Even deepest secrets and dreadful gossips!  We grew up in each other's shadow  And all of a sudden, one day He grew up taller than me!  Spoke a litter wiser than me.  A bit fairer than me , made me jealous.  Then he started growing apart from me.  Now I stand alone and lonely,  Unable to accept the bitter fact That , "he's not my little toy anymore".                                       With love,                                   Ms. Affable ❤